You can learn ANYTHING online. I mean ANYTHING

It’s amazing what the Internet has done to our lives.  Along with introducing us to words like virus, spyware, malware, spybot, malicious network attack, skip intro and “The page cannot be found” and the like, it has also given us a way to learn just about anything we want to learn.  I got curious about what a person who really wanted to could learn and found all of this.

How to dissect a frog

Probably not high on most peoples’ list of things to learn but learn it you can on a web page from BiologyJunction.com.  First you’ll get some background on a frog’s anatomy and physiology, then you’ll be told the materials you need to dissect it and finally the procedure is step by step written down.

How perform your own facelift

Granted, you won’t learn to use a scalpel on this website, but you will learn how to do an acupressure facelift that writer Adriana Germain says will tighten sagging jaw muscles, erase fine lines around the eyes and gain a healthier and more radiant look.  (But there are people who do their own real plastic surgery.  You can read about them and watch videos here.)

How to perform a dog marriage ceremony

This one includes everything except the actual vows – but then now that I think about it, a dog can’t say vows.  This WikiHow page does cover other things like: decide on a groom or bride for your dog, find a celebrant (minister, priest) willing to marry dogs (for a fee you can find this person, I promise) and a really good one: don’t overreact to other peoples’ opinions when they hear you’re doing a dog wedding.

How to build a spaceship

(This one’s so hilarious, we’re going to devote an entire upcoming post to it.  Don’t miss it!)

How to land an airplane in an emergency

Rodney Dangerfield said “I don’t do too good with flying.  You know, they say ‘When your number’s up, your number’s up.’  I’m worried I’m going to be on a plane when the pilot’s number’s up!”  Well, if this ever happens to you, pull out your laptop as the plane descends and go ArtOfManliness.com and read a VERY LONG page that might be able to duplicate as a textbook in pilot’s school.  (And don’t worry about the pilot’s number – there’s always a co-pilot who can land the plane just fine.)

How to land a plane if the co-pilot’s number is up

Ha ha, kidding.

How to become a spy

Spying is a tough racket, but it can be learned.  TopSpySecrets.com starts off with: “Spying is one of the most exciting jobs in the world.”  Then it gives you the three characteristics of a spy: “Guts, Intelligence, Creativity.”  Then it teaches about disguises, shadowing people, breaking codes, spy equipment and other . . . interesting stuff.

How to teach your cat to use the toilet

ToiletTrainedCat.com (I bet that was a cheap domain to buy) guarantees it will teach you to teach your cat to use the toilet or your money back.  To prove that the system works, there’s a video of a real cat doing his (or her) business on a regular old toilet – something you can’t fake no matter how hard you try.  Now we need a website that will teach your cat to flush the toilet.

So there are a few of the unusual things you can learn online if you have time and in some cases money.  Unfortunately the Internet also teaches the world a lot of things the world is better not knowing how to do.  So use good judgment when you further your education in cyberspace.

Learn.  Wisely.

Nick & Ellie